I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
