coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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