fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
