the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
