You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
