I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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