Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
