just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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