She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize