There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize