My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
