Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
