I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
