Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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