my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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