dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
