That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
