he shaved USA in his pubs
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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