he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
