And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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