Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
