she smelled like a LAN party
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
