Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
