it wasn't lemon gatorade
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
