I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
