I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
