Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
