i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
