addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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