Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
