Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
