No subtext here. People are naked.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
