Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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