My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
