Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
