I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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