why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
