is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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