Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize