The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
