if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
