he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
