im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
They have beer where we have blood.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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