I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
