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  • These pretzels are enraging me so much that I want to dropkick Firsty's face all the way to Azerbaijan.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 10:48am
    • There's no pretzels there though! How could you be so inhumane?

      Submitted by Oswaldo on Jul 22, 10 at 2:03am
  • Lucky as in getting you knocked up. Duh

    Submitted by Oswaldo on Jul 22, 10 at 2:02am
  • Ill tell you wtf jesus do light your ass on fire and send you to hell!

    Submitted by teph007 on Jul 21, 10 at 12:04pm
  • Sanjay ... Sorry darlin no experience here w licking toilet bowls... But you go right ahead and tell us all of your stories, hold on let me get some pretzels and a drink , sounds like you have a lot of experience and I may get firsty....

    Submitted by Rosamondmoonpie on Jul 21, 10 at 11:04am
  • Wwjd!! Seriously.

    Submitted by benc810 on Jul 22, 10 at 2:49am
  • It's the condom that has been drying out in his wallet for two years. \nThat show has been dead for a decade now, get some new material.

    Submitted by Fear_Cartaidh on Jul 21, 10 at 10:53am
  • Imagine... Letting a text .. On a public site .. Enrage you ..

    Submitted by Rosamondmoonpie on Jul 21, 10 at 10:50am
  • How can an unopened condom be lucky? How can an opened condom be lucky? Think about it.

    Submitted by smartgrrl2 on Jul 21, 10 at 2:04pm
  • Smartgirl your 12 too but you're just dumb

    Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 22, 10 at 4:24am
  • Im firsty too... Must be the pretzels

    Submitted by Rosamondmoonpie on Jul 21, 10 at 10:48am
  • I love Dallas.

    Submitted by SillyShit19 on Jul 21, 10 at 1:23pm
  • Every opened condom is a lucky condom.

    Submitted by Chadwick on Jul 21, 10 at 11:31am
  • These pretzels are making me thirsty two.

    Submitted by Clockwork on Jul 21, 10 at 10:48am
  • These pretzels are making me firsty.

    Submitted by FreddyO76 on Jul 21, 10 at 10:45am
  • I could imagine the guy OP had sex with sent a text message saying "I told her it was my "lucky condom" she freaked out"

    Submitted by _bbycakes on Jul 23, 10 at 4:31pm
  • That is so gross

    Submitted by 82797 on Aug 2, 10 at 2:17am
  • Hmmm...what the fuck would Jesus do in this situation?

    Submitted by wtfwjd on Jul 21, 10 at 10:48am
    • You're not even the slightest bit creative. stop talking.

      Submitted by RyanM on Jul 21, 10 at 1:08pm
    • send you straight to hell, probably

      Submitted by marsho on Jul 21, 10 at 2:23pm
  • Spoiler alert: Dumbledore dies.

    Submitted by Dumbledore_Died on Jul 21, 10 at 2:40pm
  • I'd freak out too.

    Submitted by _bbycakes on Jul 23, 10 at 4:29pm
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