It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
please come you make the beer taste better
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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