I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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