I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
