Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
