Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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