There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
