u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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