WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
