i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
