you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
