im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
