If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
