After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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