okay pat passed out under dana's car
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize