I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
