Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
