Hey man sorry I got all grabby
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize