May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
