the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
