I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Life is so much better after having sex.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
