This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
