idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
