Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
