we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize