I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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