Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
That accounts for only three of the penises
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
