I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
