Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
