I skipped work to stalk him.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
