She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
