The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
