and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize