If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
