after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
How naked do you want me to be?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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