I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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